Redemption's Call

About the painting:
When I began this piece in January 2021, I was emotionally grieving the loss of a very dear friend. In addition to that, I injured my knee after having surgery to try and resolve that issue. I was keeping everything inside. I can be dangerously good at keeping certain emotions locked behind doors in my mind since I convinced myself I didn’t have the time to deal with them. I wanted to get those emotions onto canvas to process them, and my mind could function again. After painting the canvas black, I started painting the outlines of shattered glass, then began painting the eye. I did not sketch everything out beforehand to ensure the pieces fit, so I wasn’t expecting much from this painting besides its temporary service as a therapist. However, I knew this would be a special piece when I finished the eye. I feel closest to God when I am painting. Because of the physical issues I have with my hands and tremors, painting is a battleground. The finished pieces can be beautiful, but the process is a constant and sometimes painful fight between my mind and hands. Every painting is a visual reminder to me that God will show His strength in my weakness.

 While painting this piece, I was sorting through my emotions and thoughts. I was reminded of how fragile everything is here on Earth. Like glass, anything can suddenly shatter into a million pieces. People will disappoint and cause pain. Certain relationships will come and go. The body and mind will fail. It is easy to convince myself I am fine, “I’ve got this.” Unfortunately, since everything on this Earth is so unstable when something breaks, what does one reach out and grab onto for stability? Because of my cerebral palsy, I have known from an early age how unreliable the body can be, yet I still constantly need to remind myself that I am unreliable. During this season, I was journeying through all the surgeries and long recoveries; I learned to let go of the control I thought I had. At the time, when something broke, I couldn't pull myself up for stability. I never could, but I believed in the illusion that I could the majority of the time. God was just more of a backup security plan. It was shocking when I began to accept that I could no longer entirely rely on my legs when my knee dislocated so quickly and frequently. Despite all of this, I was going to be alright! The knee dislocations, surgeries, intense pain, and sleepless nights were worth it because God is my redeemer and strength! He has written my story out before the beginning of time. No matter what shatters, nothing surprises Him. He will redeem what has been broken and lost. That is all that matters. Jehovah Go’El, my redeemer.

Watch Redemption’s Call process video here.